The Lavender Logs

Stories from the community

Real talk about lavender marriages, chosen family, and building life on your own terms.

CultureMay 29, 2026Latest

Ciara Called Amanda a Snake at the Reunion. But 'When Did It Start?' Is the Wrong Question.

The Summer House reunion exploded over one question: when exactly did Amanda Batula develop feelings for West Wilson? That demand for a clean timeline is the design flaw -- not Amanda.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureMay 28, 2026

Kyle Cooke Said 'I Hear Things.' Here's the Real Problem With Emotional Affair Culture.

Kyle Cooke confronted Amanda Batula about an 'emotional affair' with West Wilson in the In The City premiere. The accusation reveals something bigger than Bravo drama -- it reveals why romantic partnership keeps failing us.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureMay 17, 2026

Bravo Accidentally Made the Case for Platonic Co-Parenting. You're Welcome.

In The City premieres Monday and we're about to watch Kyle and Amanda navigate divorce, a shared business, and overlapping friend groups in real time. Meanwhile, platonic co-parenting apps just hit 100K users. These two facts are connected.

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Marty Thomas
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ExplainerMay 14, 2026

3.6 Million People Just Discovered Lavender Marriages. Here's What They Got Wrong.

A TikTok about marrying your gay best friend hit 3.6 million views. The comments were mostly straight women saying 'yes.' Here's what the viral moment gets right — and the one thing almost everyone is missing.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureMay 11, 2026

West Wilson Said "No Overlap." Here's Why That's the Wrong Defense.

West Wilson's Summer House reunion defense was three words: 'no overlap.' The problem isn't whether it's true. It's why we've decided that's the bar we're supposed to clear.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureMay 6, 2026

Bravo Gave Amanda and West a Spinoff. Kyle Cooke Got a Social Media Audit. That's the Story.

Bravo just handed Amanda Batula and West Wilson their own spinoff while Kyle Cooke audits his Instagram follows post-divorce. The real question isn't who's winning — it's what kind of relationship any of us are actually building.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 30, 2026

1 in 4 Forty-Year-Olds Have Never Been Married. The Wedding Industry Should Be Worried.

Pew Research data: 25% of US 40-year-olds have never been married, the highest share since 1900. Marriage rates hit a record low. Inside the numbers, the TikTok lavender-marriage explosion, and why people aren't anti-love, they're anti-template.

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Marty Thomas
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SeriesApril 27, 2026

5 Words That Changed It All, Part 2: Why YOUR Is the Most Underrated Word in Marriage

Most people don't choose their person. They choose someone other people approve of. Part 2 of the 5 Words series digs into the word YOUR, why lavender marriages can't skip it, and the one exercise that exposes whose checklist you've actually been shopping from.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 21, 2026

The Real Summer House Breakup Was Ciara and Amanda

Ciara Miller called Amanda Batula's new romance a 'major mindf--k' and said she felt more betrayed by her friend than her ex. That one quote just explained everything wrong with how we treat platonic love.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 20, 2026

The Amanda and Kyle Perfect Marriage Just Collapsed — and Honestly, Good For Them

Amanda Batula says she's 'never been happier' post-split. Kyle is out here kissing Meghan King. And everyone is acting like this is a tragedy. Let's talk about what a brand marriage actually is — and why its ending doesn't mean it failed.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 19, 2026

The Amanda and Kyle "Perfect Marriage" Just Collapsed — And Summer House Is Accidentally Teaching Us Something Important

Amanda Batula and Kyle Cooke's Summer House divorce is getting treated like a scandal. It's not. It's what happens when two people build a relationship for the cameras and then have to figure out what's underneath.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 18, 2026

Kyle Richards And Mauricio Umansky Accidentally Wrote The Divorce Script I've Been Waiting For

Kyle Richards says she and Mauricio have been separated for 2.5 years with no paperwork and no fighting. It's the most quietly revolutionary thing on Bravo right now.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 16, 2026

Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Accidentally Made a Lavender Marriage Documentary

The drama on Secret Lives of Mormon Wives isn't really about swinging. It's about what happens when you spend years performing a marriage instead of designing one. And nobody on set seems to have noticed.

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Marty Thomas
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CultureApril 13, 2026

Gen Z Quit Dating Apps and Started Marrying Their Best Friends Instead (Same, Honestly)

Gen Z spends 156 hours a year on dating apps for an average of six meaningful connections. So they quit — and started designing intentional partnerships instead. We're not mad about it.

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Marty Thomas
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Why Everyone Keeps Saying Selena and Benny Are in a Lavender Marriage (And Why That's the Wrong Question)
CultureApril 11, 2026

Why Everyone Keeps Saying Selena and Benny Are in a Lavender Marriage (And Why That's the Wrong Question)

TikTok is convinced Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco are in a lavender marriage. Whether they are or not isn't the interesting part. Here's what this viral obsession is actually telling us about how we think about love.

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Marty Thomas
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Summer House Proved It Again: Relationships Built on Vibes Will Always Implode
CultureApril 7, 2026

Summer House Proved It Again: Relationships Built on Vibes Will Always Implode

The Amanda Batula and West Wilson bombshell on Summer House is a masterclass in why traditional romantic relationships keep failing. Here's what lavender marriages get right.

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Marty Thomas
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Gen Z Doesn't Want a Romance. They Want a Real Partner.
CultureApril 2, 2026

Gen Z Doesn't Want a Romance. They Want a Real Partner.

I didn't build LLMA because I read a trend report. I built it because I've been living this for 17 years. And right now, the research is finally catching up.

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Marty Thomas
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Tax Benefits Are Not a Reward for F*cking
CultureFebruary 28, 2026

Tax Benefits Are Not a Reward for F*cking

Somebody had the audacity to say lavender marriages shouldn't qualify for tax benefits. Sir. Who do you think you are?

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Marty Thomas
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You Can F*ck a Stranger, But I Can't Love My Best Friend?
RelationshipDecember 5, 2025

You Can F*ck a Stranger, But I Can't Love My Best Friend?

So let me get this straight. You can sleep with someone you met at a bar two hours ago. But I can't love the person I've built a life with for seventeen years?

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Marty Thomas
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When Motherly Love Showed Up Differently
LifestyleMay 11, 2025

When Motherly Love Showed Up Differently

Not every Mother's Day message starts with flowers and fond memories. Mine doesn't. But here's the truth: the love you missed doesn't define you. The love you choose does.

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Marty Thomas
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Coming Out at 82?! Barry Diller Just Blew Up the Timeline
CultureMay 7, 2025

Coming Out at 82?! Barry Diller Just Blew Up the Timeline

Barry Diller — billionaire, married to Diane von Fürstenberg for 24 years. Now 82. And gay. Let's just sit in that for a second.

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Marty Thomas
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When You Don't See the Path — You Become It
RelationshipApril 30, 2025

When You Don't See the Path — You Become It

There was a moment — not long ago — when I realized there was no playbook for the life I was trying to build.

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The LLMA Team
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Welcome to the Lavender Logs
Founding PostApril 26, 2025

Welcome to the Lavender Logs

If you had told me five years ago I'd be launching LLMA — a platform dedicated to redefining partnerships and chosen family — I would have questioned your sanity.

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Marty Thomas
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